


Killing Me

by Liza1031



Series: Harringrove One-Shots [64]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Love, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Past Child Death, Pregnant Steve Harrington, homebirth, labor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28694415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza1031/pseuds/Liza1031
Summary: Steve and Billy are given the gift of a lifetime.One-shot based on the song Killing Me from the artist Lukas Sital-Singh
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Series: Harringrove One-Shots [64]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987054
Kudos: 7





	Killing Me

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of Already Gone
> 
> This is a rewrite from an old work that I've uploaded in the past so some different names may appear. If you see any, kindly let me know. Thanks <3

•Billy•

My arms around Steve loosened as he just told me he was pregnant...again.

"Y-You're what?"

He walks further into Mia's room and cries while looking out the window.

"I-I'm s-sorry, Billy. I-I'll g-get rid of i-it I d-don't care."

I sigh and walk over to him, turning him towards me.

"Steve, breathe." I tell him and we inhale slowly, then exhale. He seemed to collect himself in those short seconds but focused on me. "We're not gonna get rid of this baby, okay? Maybe it's Mia giving us another chance at being parents. Do you know how far along you are?"

"No." He frantically shakes his head and picks at his shoulder. Something he's picked up whenever he's frustrated or panics. I bring his arm down and hold it in my hands.

"Baby, just relax. No one's mad at you for this."

"I-I just feel guilty...I-I mean we just l-lost our d-daughter and now I-I'm pregnant!"

"And there's nothing wrong with that. Hey, listen to me...This is our second chance. Our chance to be parents again."

"Second chance?"

"Yeah, we can do this babe. When do you wanna call the doctor?"

"I-I have an appointment tomorrow. I-I called last week."

"Oh, well okay then. Stop crying baby, I promise it's all gonna work out and if it doesn't then we'll figure out what to do from there. But I do know that you don't have to worry about losing me because I'm always here and I'm always gonna be here."

He sniffles and nods, moving to wrap his arms around me. He presses the side of his head to my chest and I kiss the top of his head.

"What would I do without you?"

"I don't know babe." I laugh. "How about we go take a bath and try to relax. It's been a long, hard day and we can both use this."

"Okay." He sighs and unwraps himself from around me, leaving her room.

I follow him into our bathroom and he draws us a bath while I undress myself then undress him. We both lost our baby but I know he's hurting and is struck with this guilt of being pregnant. It's not easy burying your child and not having them around anymore so hopefully this can just ease our minds and get us through the night before it starts to set in that she's not here. I think we're just both in shock now but I know it'll be heavy on my heart in time. That's how it always is.

We sit in the tub together and stay quiet, so quiet I can actually hear Ricky's heart beating slow and steady. It's aching and full of pain.

After our bath, Steve heads to bed, exhausted from today and I pull on a pair of black sweats, walking out to Mia's room again.

It's going to be a hard road to recovering from this loss and getting back to being our normal selves. But I think we're very far from being back to normal with all of this.

I went and laid on her bed, thinking back to when she'd begged for me to sleep with her whenever she had a bad dream. And she would always leave her hand on the side of my thigh to make sure I didn't leave her. I grabbed hold of her monkey stuffed animal and clutched it to my chest, her scent was still on it and brought back so many memories of my little girl.

A lump forms in the back of my throat, and I feel tears running down my face.

"Is this a sign from you, Mia?" I ask, sobbing into her monkey.

I know this is her doing, some way somehow.

**-Four Months Later-**

•Steve•

This pregnancy has been the second hardest thing I've ever had to go through. First, I lost my daughter and now this. I'm not really that mad anymore but I still feel super guilty. I carry it with me everyday along with the heart ache, nausea, joint pain, everything about me physically and mentally is just weighing down on me.

I miss her everyday and can sometimes feel that she's there but in reality she's not and will never be.

I sigh reaching down for the basket and prop it on my hip, closing the dryer door. I push the button and let those sets of clothes start to dry while I fold the other ones. I bring the basket to my room and fold the laundry, putting everything away in our dresser.

I walk down the hall and enter Mia's room, it's slowly coming down.

I've been packing it day by day. It's been a process but I'm proud of myself for getting it done. It's helping me cope with her loss, surprisingly. I don't know why but it is and it's kinda been a stress reliever from the pregnancy, however it still sucks having to put everything of hers away. I don't want to get rid of it just yet because if this baby is a girl, it'll save Billy and I a ton of money.

I made up another cardboard box and set it on the chair, going through her drawers to place into the box.

I hum a familiar tune while doing so and get so wrapped into it that time zips by.

While going through her bottom drawer, I suddenly feel a presence that sends goosebumps all throughout my body. I lift myself up and look around the room to see if Billy was home.

"Hello?" I call out and get no response. I shrug and continue to take out the clothes from her drawers.

".....Mommy...."

I freeze and drop the clothes in my hands.

"Mia?" Tears pool in my eyes and I head into the hallway to see who it was. It was empty.

Suddenly, I feel the baby kick and stare down at my bump. I gasp in shock and bring my hand up to my extended belly.

I smile, rubbing my finger against my itchy skin. The baby was moving and was alive, it just got a tiny more real for me.

I keep my hand on my bump and walk over to her nightstand, picking up a picture of the three of us. Mia was sitting on Billy’s shoulder and I was staring up at her, smiling. Her hands were cupped under Billy’s chin holding on for dear life, but they were both having so much fun.

I chuckle and hold the picture to my chest.

"Wish you were here, baby doll. Mommy misses you so much." I whisper to myself, tears soaking my cheeks. I sighed and got back to my work, waiting for my husband to be home.

Billy and I have been discussing the possibility of having a home birth again. Ever since Mia got sick and died, the hospital freaked me out. So I think if I'm going to be birthing a baby, I want to be able to be comfortable with my decision and my environment. It's still up in the air but nothing's official. We're still in the process of doing research to find out some more about having a home birth. I guess it just depends on how the rest of this pregnancy goes.

**-Five Months Later-**

_ Nine hours in labor... _

I was sitting in front of Billy, just barely holding onto our bed sheets. The contractions were killer and were just getting worse as they came.

My face contorts from the pain and I move forward, leaning into Billy. "No more, Billy...I can't go on."

"You have to, Steve. Our baby is almost here...just hold on until the end."

"...I...can't..."

"Yes you can."

"N-No Billy...I can't l-lose th-his b-baby."

"You're not going to."

I shake my head disagreeing with him and groan from the contraction, ripping apart inside me. "....Too...much...Billy...OW!"

"What happened to Mia wasn't your fault. Her cancer wasn't because of you, so please stop beating yourself up over that. You're in labor and you're vulnerable right now and I know you just want this to be done and over with but you can't stop fighting just yet." He rubs around my bump while pressing our foreheads together. "Mia loves you very much, okay? You know that, you know that this was her doing...well with help from us but still. She's always with you and is going to be by your side the whole time."

I swallow and tiredly look into his eyes. "I-I need you Chris."

"And you got me. I'm not going anywhere."

I sadly smile and we press our lips together.

An hour and fifteen minutes later, I delivered a seven pound baby girl with the help of my husband and my midwife.

She reminded me so much of Mia in so many ways. All I could do was think back seven years ago when I gave birth to Mia. I was exhausted from pushing for so long but once she was out it was like nothing else mattered, only here.

Now I have another baby girl...our second chance at this thanks to Mia. I know she's watching over us and gifted this baby girl to us.

Billy was thrilled that the baby was here finally and all my pain was over. I hope we're ready for this chance. I guess only time will tell our future.


End file.
